Parents Tricked Us Into a “Vacation” — Just So We’d Babysit for Free, So We Left
When a couple’s family asked them to a cabin vacation, they thought it would be a nice place to relax. What they got instead was a full-time job babysitting for free. But what began as one night of watching the kids turned into many unspoken demands, accusations of guilt, and passive-aggressive comments. The couple finally had enough when they were told they were drunk while not even being on kid duty and left. Now, their brother and sister-in-law are texting them pictures of kids who look “disappointed.” They say they don’t get why anyone would be upset.
This AITA story on Reddit talks about a problem that a lot of adults have: being taken for granted because you don’t have any kids. How do you tell the difference between helping someone and being used? When are limits more important than keeping the peace?
At first view, this may look like a simple misunderstanding in the family. But when you look more closely, it’s clear that this wasn’t about misunderstandings; it was about unspoken demands, feelings of entitlement, and emotional abuse that was passed off as “family bonding.”
First, let’s talk about the invite. The couple was “invited” to a cabin owned by family members. They were not given a holiday, gifts, or money. In fact, they paid for it and expected the same thing that any adult would: to relax and spend time with their loved ones.
Right away, the fact that the wife watches her brother’s child three to five days a week for free says a lot. They often make it five, even though it’s “supposed” to be three. Just the way things are set up shows that there has been an imbalance for a long time, as the brother and his wife depend on the OP and his wife without showing any thanks or reciprocity.
From One Night to Full-Time Guardians
They were okay with kid-sitting the first night so the brother and sister-in-law could have a “date night.” That makes sense. It’s a family trip, so let’s do one nice thing for each other.
But the next day, things went badly. The SIL thought they would take the two younger children without asking, so they didn’t. She didn’t even stay to explain or make sure it was okay; she just told everyone what she was going to do and then left with the 10-year-old, leaving the others behind.
Between these two points, the lines start to blur. There is a big difference between offering to help and being forced to do work for free because family members are expected to “just help out.”
One important sign that someone is breaking your boundaries is if they act confused or hurt when you say “no,” even though they never asked you to say “yes” in the first place. This is what therapist and author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace Nedra Glover Tawwab says. That’s what’s taking place.
Family Shame and Different Rules
Later that day, the couple decided to go pub hopping as their own way to have fun on vacation. The SIL didn’t like this idea and said, “I thought this was a family vacation.” This is a clear case of lying. A few hours before, she and her husband left without telling anyone to take their oldest child to an activity, thinking that the other kids would be watched without their permission.
This is where guilt over feelings turns into a tool. The couple’s independence is seen as disregard by SIL. They’re “not being family” when they’re having fun. But when she leaves her own kids, it’s seen as sensible or fair.
The gaslighting is at its worst by the time the couple is criticised again, this time for drinking at the lake without watching the kids. SIL even takes the wife away to give her a lecture, even though they hadn’t agreed to be in charge at that time. That talk isn’t about safety; it’s about who has power.
“We Thought You’d Help Out” is the last straw.
After days of watching the kids without any thanks, making judgemental comments, and switching the blame, the couple finally says something. Not only were they not taken on vacation, but they were also asked to a family cabin and had to pay for their own stay. What did the brother say? “We hoped you could help.”
Right now is very important. It shows that the whole trip was based on a secret hope: that this couple, who doesn’t have any kids, would spend their holiday taking care of others full-time, just like they do during the week.
Many adults who don’t have kids are familiar with this situation. In a 2021 story, The Atlantic says that people who don’t have kids are often expected to give up their time and freedom because others think they “have it easier.” In reality, someone doesn’t need to have kids to earn rest, space, or a break from caring for others.
Giving the Kids Weapons
As a reasonable reaction to being lied to for days, the couple leaves. The texts then begin to come in. SIL sends pictures of the kids that say they are “hurt” and don’t know why their aunt and uncle left.
This part of the story might be the most dishonest. It’s not about making peace or getting along. Putting kids in the middle of an adult fight to make them feel guilty is a strategy called “emotional triangulation.” The SIL puts the emotional weight of her mistakes on the children, making the pair look like the bad guys.
To be clear, though, the couple did not leave the kids. They turned down a promise that they never agreed to in the first place and wasn’t paid for. That’s not being selfish. That is known as a border.
Not the jerk
The vast majority of people? Not the A**hole (NTA). This couple was tricked into going on a trip that was supposed to be a family vacation but was really just a way to get free babysitting. They didn’t do anything wrong when they decided to leave. In fact, they may have done everything right by finally ending a bad, one-sided relationship.
Their time, energy, and mental work are valuable, and they shouldn’t have to raise their nieces and nephews while being criticised for having fun.
